Yesterday, I wrote about gender roles in society, and that got me thinking about social gender roles in homsexual relationships. In such a relationship, both members are of the same sex (duh!), so that means that they have to take on all the roles that society normally splits up between men and women.
Let me first start by defining gender roles. I want to focus on gender roles as created by society, not biological/inherent roles.
People often believe that in a homosexual relationship, one partner is “the man” and the other is “the woman.” I have never been in a relationship, but I am fairly confident that it doesn't work this way. Both characters are men or both are women; they are, after all, homosexual. If the relationship had one man and one woman, then they'd be straight.
I can only imagine that the partners of the relationship split up the roles that are normally assigned to the opposite sex. I know there are other dynamics involved, such as roles in sex, but I don't really want to go there right now. I believe (but I have no evidence to support this statement), that most people are versatile in the roles they can play, so once again, concrete gender roles are bucked.
It appears that homosexuals destroy the gender roles that society has created. Do you think that this causes any homophobia? Is the straight society afraid to see their carefully constructed gender roles fall by the wayside? I often hear accusation that homosexuals will destroy marriage and attack our traditions. Are they referring to social gender roles? Do homosexuals destroy the gender roles of marriage and the gender traditions of society? Is that what the conservatives fear?
13 comments:
In reverse order
Who gives a fuck what conservatives fear?
No.
WGAF.
Probably not - anyway there is no such thing as straight scoiety - it has always been mix - homosexuals are not a 21st century creation.
Homophobia is the result of not ignorance, like raceism.
I've never understood why homosexuals are supposed to destroy marriage. I think we are more refining it by taking the strict-rule-gender-ballast from it.
I can only hope that homosexuals challenge traditional gender roles in broader society. I fear our impact will be limited. That's the job for the other 90%.
My husband and I are somewhat average males. We both play softball, cook, clean, etc. He's a gamer. I do most of my own work on our cars (one is a pick-up truck). I love to BBQ. Neither of us lisps. lol I guess I take on the more stereotypical male role, and him the female. Sorta. Although he hates being called the wife. My husband calls me the straightest gay man alive.
What about gender identity?
Interesting discussion!
Lloyd and me are roomies, don't know if that counts for something. He's definately what most people call "the woman"; keeping our place tidy, cooking, cleaning. I don't cook and clean as often, but that's mainly cause I'm too lazy-ass to do any of that. Although I do try to help him whenever I can. I look supersexy in an apron btw.
Jefferson opted a nice follow-up question at the end of his comment!
Love,
Boyd
I think it does cause a bit of homophobia b/c they don't seem to like change most people just don't like to change their ways.
I don't see how we can destroy relationships since our marriage does NOT and I repeat does NOT do any thing to them.
No conservatives fear is the idea of gay's in general
Ethan, you said, "No conservatives fear is the idea of gay's in general"
What specifically do they fear? What about gays frightens them?
Carwin: Your ideas and observations seem to reflect a certain political viewpoint espoused by the mainstream gay elites. While many are legitimate, I urge you to think for yourself, but avoid over-anaylizing everything. Many of these ideas make great press, but have very little to do with everyday life - the life that you will be living.
Like I said they fear gays in general not just one thing about them they just don't like gays all period
So as a man currently coming out - and still legally married to a women - I can say that not all heterosexual relationships follow strict gender roles. At least when it comes to housework/cooking/child rearing.
In my relationship with my wife we shared many aspects of maintaining the home. Cooking and cleaning were shared. Some things did follow stereotypical gender roles; for example my wife took care of the laundry (because I would probably ruin her clothes if I washed them). I took care of the cars (because I'm into cars, and she doesn't care about them). But we both changed diapers, fed/bathed our daughter, cooked, cleaned, painted, repaired, spruced up, and otherwise. I think the same is true for many other heterosexual couple we know.
I think that gender roles in traditional marriage have been changing significantly over time, and it has nothing to do with homosexual relationships. I think it has more to do with both partners working full time. In the 50's men worked outside of the home, and women worked in the home. By the 70's that had changed much (at least in the US).
My wife and I currently do not know any hetero couples where one partner stays home and the other partner works. Take a look at "Real House Husbands of Hollywood" - not a very good TV show - but it showcases several couples where the wives work and the husbands take care of the household/children. Times are changing - but not only because of homosexual relationships.
Not to bash conservatives here - but I think the reason that conservatives don't like gays is because they are different. They tend (at least the far far right ones) tend to not like immigrants, people with different religious beliefs, people from lower economic backgrounds, people with different political opinions, etc...
At least some of the far right conservative I know appear to be this way. I'm not trying to generalize conservatives - I know a lot of reasonable conservatives. Well - a few at least.
@NewLeaf: Thank you for your contribution. Your views are very insightful.
I think that the real source of homophobia the natural human fear of the unknown or the different. I think we all know have experienced this fear. Fear of the dark, common for children, is just fear of the unknown.
So, I guess the solution to homophobia is to make homosexuals known. I think Harvey Milk would agree.
They fear us in general, Jason, because we are different. Only a small percentage of the population is attracted to the same gender, so that must mean we are either sick in the head or evil, much like left-handed people or people who are unusually tall.
Gender roles and homosexuals' deviation from them is definitely a big part of their fear. They can't accept that some people just don't fit the mold and it's not out of a desire to be defiant to God; it just is.
See, God made man and God made woman, and blurring the lines between them is a sin of epic proportion. Wearing garments of the opposite gender is an "abomination" per Deuteronomy 22:5. And, of course, hot male-on-male action is spoken of in terms of laying with another man as a woman in Leviticus and Deuteronomy, and we know that was punishable by death. Note that the admonishment was not simply, guys don't fuck guys; it was take the female role, and you will be killed, as will your partner for participating.
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