As you know, I created this blog as a resource for people who are thinking about coming out. Now that I have completed the first step in the process, I decided to write a timeline of events that led up to coming out to my parents.
It starts in September 2007 and ends in October 2009. I tried to stay brief on each event, but if you want to hear more, just say so in the comments and I will elaborate.
- Semester in Switzerland.
- I don't feel judged by anyone. I feel no need to change how I act. Everyone accepts me for who I am. I have no enemies, and everyone likes me.
- These are the best days of my life.
December 2007
- I returned home. On the plane ride home, I made a conscious decision to change how I act to prevent people from believing I am gay.
August – September 2007
- 2 months in India.
- I actively tried to “become straight” during this period. I did not succeed. For a short time, I was able to stop feeling attracted to men, but I could not replace my attraction to men with an attraction to women.
December 2007 – December 2008
- Depression.
- This stemmed from a number of factors, but I believe that one of the contributing factors was my inability to accept myself. I was actively suppressing how I felt.
January 2009 – April 2009
- I started to think seriously about my homosexuality. I thought about how it will affect my life, and I began to accept myself and consider coming out.
- I drew inspiration from successful gays such as Harvey Milk and David Sedaris.
May 2009
- I began to think about coming out to my best friend who lives in St. Louis.
- She visits on May 30, but I am unable to get the words out.
June 2009
- On June 6, 2009, I came out to my best friend from St. Louis over the phone.
- I was very nervous. By the time I finally got the words out, I was slumped on the ground in my bathroom.
- This happened to be the day of my Prom.
July 2009
- I started this blog. I had been keeping a loose diary since May, and I transfer all the entries into the blog.
August 2009
- I began planning to tell my parents.
October 2009
- On October 15, 2009, I finally tell my parents that I am gay.
- I still need to tell my twin brother (fraternal twin).
9 comments:
congrats on coming out to your parents... that is a hard thing to do (was for me anyways). I'm glad that you have accepted your homosexuality at this young of an age and that you are coming out now. It's hard and for like two months after you've come out you're not sure if anything is different, but it will enable you eventually to begin to start living the life you want to.
I have to admit that i'm jealous... you're gonna start college with a clean slate and be an out gay guy... you'll be able to make friends who support you and date whom you please, it's gonna be a great time for you and I think you have a bright future ahead of you, so keep it up.
Wow, OMG, good job on coming out to them!
Congratulations on succeeding, and its a very admirable thing by coming out to your parents. I can only imagine it must have been nerve-racking and a relief after. I've only got a few questions that came to mind:
1) How did it feel before/after?
2) How did your parents react to the news? Were they supportive?
3) When and how did you find the 'ideal' moment to do so?
4) Where to next? Rest of your friends/family?
5) Does this mean that this blog is now redundant? (not that I want it to!) As you have served its purpose now.
Just wanted to thank you for creating this blog anyway, and you have certainly been an inspiration! :)
Peter
India, really? Where? I currently go to school here, but I grew up in Bangalore. Place was very closeted until just 2 months ago. Anyway, kudos on having the guts to do at 17 what I did at 25!
@P.T: http://carwinscloset.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-finally-came-out.html
That's most post from the moments after coming out.
@Marvin: Dehradun, in Northern India.
Wow, guess I've missed quite a bit.
Thank for sharing though!
I know how stressful this has been for you. Not only from what you've written, but because I've been coming out recently, myself. I'm happy for you that you found the courage to follow through.
Good time-line stuff - it shows clearly the length of time it took for you to be certain that you are gay and must act accordingly.
That is the biggest single step for anyone who suspects that s/he is not 100% heterosexual and cannot live life as though s/he is.
That self-realisation, coupled with sufficient strength of character are the things which subsequently make coming out a reality.
So next is bro. Yes?
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