Coming Out to my Friends

Rep. Aaron Schock. Continue reading to learn more.

Here's what happened:

We were all lounging about in the game room chatting about stuff. I waited for an opening to grab the attention for myself. This was perhaps the most difficult part of the night. It would have been so easy to just kick this down the road a bit.

Our conversations were rarely united. It was mostly just 3 separate conversations going on while we all sat in a circle. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even join a conversation because I was concentrating on my own dilemma: Should I just wait until a later time? Another friend is joining this party, and I'm not ready for him to know yet. This could happen later. It doesn't need to happen now. But I need this for my essay. This is homework, so I have to do it. No excuses. No more procrastinating. It's time.

I guess, in the end, it was the homework aspect that pulled me through that moment. It's astonishingly geeky to admit this, but it's true. Bringing yourself to say "I'm gay" is so difficult, and I think a you really need some strong motivation.

Then, my friend found some old (2007) letters that she had received from us, and wanted to read them aloud to see how much things have changed. I interrupted her and said, “Before we do that, I need to tell you all something: I'm gay.”

As usual, this created a short awkward silence, which I quickly filled: “The only people at our school who know this are the people in this room. If you guys need to gossip about it, which is completely understandable, please do it with each other. I really would like this to stay a secret for at least a little while. That said, I know that this will get out, so if anyone comes up to you and asks if I am gay, please tell me so I can change it on Facebook. I would rather out myself rather than be outed by the rumor mill. It's more dignified that way.”

I really hate that awkward silence, but I'm not sure if there is a better alternative or even a way to get rid of it. My friends were not surprised that I am gay, they were surprised that I was coming out. I think that no matter how close someone is to you, they will still be surprised when you come out.

Also, I think people sorta expect a little speech. Personally, I would rather just start chatting about it. I hate the speech delivery aspect.

After that, we just sorta went back to reading the hilarious letters from 10th grade. Later, I chatted with my friends individually about it. I wasn't able to talk to everyone because another friend joined the party about 15 minutes after I came out, and I was not ready for him to know. We all had to keep it under wraps while he was there. I guess now my friends have got a little taste of what it's like to be in the closet.

Some funny statements from the night (these are not all the same Friend):

Friend: “Ok, now that you're gay. I need to know this: Do you think Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner is hot?
Me: “He looks good considering he's 48, but he's not the hottest politician. Have you seen Representative Aaron Schock of Illinois. He's smokin!”

Friend: “Ya, my mom knew the first time she shook your hand.”

Friend: “I always knew, I mean, come on, you love Lady Gaga and Kathy Griffin. Also, it was always awkward when we played MASH. You could never think of a hot woman to marry. I remember, once you said Megan Fox, which was super trashy.”

Friend: “Damnit, now we can't get married. Now I have to find a man as amazing as you!”

As I was driving home, It's Raining Men came on the radio. I think it was God applauding me.