Unlike most people, my greatest fear is not a tangible entity. While spiders give me the creeps, I fear forgetting above all else.
By forgetting, I mean forgetting my life and the events in it.
Our yearbook staff asked the seniors to each come up with a memory from their time at the school. It is due today, but I have nothing. I do not remember anything significant or happy about my time here. It's just dull and blah.
There is one exception to this: I remember EVERYTHING about my time in Switzerland.
I remember what I ate on certain nights, I remember what my roomie and I talked about, I remember quotes from classmates and teachers. Those days were the happiest of my life, and it saddens me to know that they are past.
The good news is that I have maintained my memory of these events. I use pictures, music, and words to remind me of the events that took place. Yet, I know that everyday, I lose a little more of the experience.
This is why I cried when my hard drive died. I thought I had lost all my pictures, music, and words from the experience. If that were to happen, I would be utterly devastated. In fact, I think I would even relapse into depression. The good news is that I had all my pictures saved on an older hard drive.
I believe that our identity is a function of our experiences. If we lose our experiences, do we lose a bit of our identity? I don't know. Hopefully, the message that came out of the experience remains, even if we don't remember how we learned the lesson. Yet, how can we support ourself if we have no past to rely upon? Is our location today not the end point of the path we traveled yesterday?
How can we keep our memory strong? How can we recall the important events of our life? Forgetfulness frightens me. I refuse to be engulfed by it.
Somebody help.
How can we keep our memory strong? How can we recall the important events of our life? Forgetfulness frightens me. I refuse to be engulfed by it.
Somebody help.
19 comments:
You never really forget about your experiences - no need to worry. You may not be able to recall something on demand, but it amazing how "misplaced" memories can be resurrected by some cue, and it all comes flooding back.
Personally I tend to live in the present and dream about the future, and not really look back so much - water under the bridge as they say...
Switzerland is kick-ass! I going skiing in the Europe almost every year around Christmastime, and I have a strong preference for the Swiss Alps. I'd live there if I could.
And I hope that you are setting up a bulletproof backup scheme for all your important digital files!!!
I have the same worries as well. I agree with Anonymous in that misplaced memories can come surging back with certain stimuli, but if you want a more systematic way of recalling memories and past experiences, I think you're doing just that with your blog. Ultimately the best way to keep a record of your past is to write it down or preserve it via more modern methods (video, audiorecordings, etc.) The most accessible way for most people to record their past is in written form, though. And maintaining your blog on a regular basis is arguably the best way to keep track of everything months and years from now. If there are things you don't want the whole world to know, you can keep a personal journal on the side. If you think about it, the written word is how we know and "remember" the centuries of civilization that preceded us.
So. Now is the time to back up those pictures onto two sets of CDs and give one set to someone else to look after. DO IT NOW.
(Yes Dad)
Love
The Tigs
there's this supplement called gingko biloba that's supposed to help with memory ... but ... as my father in law used to say ...
I would take my gingko biloba, I just can't remember where I put it.
I've always had a sieve for a memory. Only the biggest things stay in. They are big wither because they were really important to me at the time — as Switzerland was to you — or because they got big through the cumulative effect of repetition — like things I studied in school.
But occasionally, something will trigger a recollection of a person or event I haven't thought about in a long time. So there is a lot that is stored there, but not at the surface.
Supplements like ginko biloba may help.
I think the very act of writing the important things down helps fix them in memory. And if you keep the writings in hard copy in a journal somewhere, then you don't have to worry about losing a hard drive, even as memories fade, which is nly natural.
Your experiences have helped to make you who you are. But the resulting "Jason Carwin" is the same person whether or not you remember all those experiences. So don't lose sleep over it. Be yourself, and enjoy whatever good memories you have.
We need to forget perceptions, it would cause an overflow if we were not able to forget a lot of perceptions every day. Except of Alzheimer's disease or dementia we are able to remember a lot.
Write a diary, ask yourself what do I remember about today, yesterday , last week. Practice a culture of remembering.
We remember very well important experiences especially experiences with strong feelings. A clear inner image helps to remember also.
RR
:O ur such a good writer
*is jealous*
There should be no need for someone your age to take anything to recover memory or enhance recall. AEK or some other medical student can correct me if I'm wrong on this, but early onset Alzheimers doesn't manifest itself until the patient is in his 30's in extreme cases. The research on brain chemistry is proceeding at a very rapid pace, and I believe there will be substantial progress in cognitive enhancement and the prevention of dementia within the next decade. In a way, our society has to do this, because the cost of warehousing people with dementia is a significant component of our exploding health care budget. Just visit any nursing home.
In the meantime, cognitive impairment of older people can be staved off by a conscientious regimen of diet and exercise, and a healthy daily dose of mental stimulation.
Statistically speaking, dementia afflicts women more than men. Genetics have a lot to do with it, and there are tests to determine if you have a predisposition to such impairment. Is there a strong familial history of age-related dementia in your family? If so, you might think about the problem long-term, but given medical progress I wouldn't worry too much.
What you are experiencing is the natural tendency of the brain to push out of its recall circuits unimportant things, especially repetitive occurances. There are rare cases of persons who literally can recall everything that has happened to them in their lives, but this includes some pretty dull stuff: "Five years ago at this hour I was in my bedroom cutting my toenails". Why should we want to remember such trivia?
I remember minute details of my experiences in foreign travel, as well as written texts and their visualizations that I've found important, and that's just because they are important. Obviously that's the way most people's brains function.
Bottom line: Don't worry, be happy, because there's nothing wrong with your thinking.
Hi Jason...I'm new to your blog but enjoy it much!
You say you believe that identity is a function of experience. I would go further and say that identity is a product or result of experience. Experiences are never lost, but identity is not static, and so can be changed or made new as a result of different experiences.
Is my "identity" the same as 10 years ago? No. Subsequent experiences have created new perceptions I have about others, or places, or philosophies, or about how I view myself in relation to all of that.
Is my "identity" the same as yesterday? Not really. Comments made by my boss have altered my perceptions of him, the company I work for, and what my future reactions may be in similar circumstances. So, identity is in constant flux. We may not immediately perceive it as such, because we have to function day to day.
And your awareness of self identity will almost always be different, (sometimes radically so) than that of your family, friends, or casual acquaintances. We never see ourselves the way others see us. But your writing and photos will help you recall memories. We ALL have trouble recalling the past. Maybe that's not always bad!!
Sorry for the long screed. All the best to you!
I'm like you in that sense. Our memories are what make us who we are. Once we lose our memories, we are nothing. It doesn't matter if we were once the president of the United States or an Oscar winning actor, without memories of our lives, all that would mean nothing.
My closet is full with things of my past, from pictures, to past essays, report cards, etc. I've always had remnants of my past to cling onto to give me these memories. I've had a journal since I was in the 2nd grade and that's helped me recall a lot of my past. However, the older I get the more and more I'm forgetting about things before the 2nd grade.
But I've learned that the really important things in life you won't forget. And though you may forget some things, you'll never forget the emotions you felt when these important those things happened to you. There's so much more of life ahead of you. As long as you stay true to yourself, and go in the direction that will bring you happiness, you'll find that future experiences will help you remember a lot about your past. Once you feel the same emotions, you'll remember what happened that evoked those emotions out of you.
And remember, just as you work out your muscles to keep your body going, exercise your brain as well to keep your mind fresh. Keep writing, keep reading, keep learning, do logical games and puzzles, cross words. You get what I'm saying. Don't stop stimulating your brain.
Alzheimer's would be your worst nightmare then. o_O
Honestly some people are just forgetful. Some kind of external cue might be necessary to jog one's memory: a smell, a sound, an object, a photo, etc. Think of it this way, isn't this why you - in part - began writing a blog? Maybe years down the line you'll re-read something you wrote today and you'll remember instantly what you were thinking and feeling today.
Leave breadcrumbs in the wake of your past, so you can follow them back to your memories. Memory is an interesting thing that I don't think even scientists and doctors have fully figured out. Some people have an inclination for remembering certain types of info - like statistics or numbers, or faces.
There are tons of mental exercises out there that you can do to increase your memory. I don't know how well the work, but that's the claim anyhow.
One thing you ight do is use this blog as part of your journal, to share important events and keep them for posterity (for Gods sake back everything up!!) or even create a personal/private journal as a second blog, or using LiveJournal, etc.
Your memories will change over time, but you'll always remember the most important things, I think.
Hmm play some Brain Age for Nintendo DS?
Just to make you laugh. :P
Hmm play some Brain Age for Nintendo DS?
Just to make you laugh. :P
Every time I read something you write, I can't understand why you said that you can't write in your recent post on your college essay. Your post today is one of the best examples of writing that I can think of. I predict that you are going to blow the socks off the folks at Yale when they read your essay. And I hope that your experiences at Yale will be just as good as the ones you had in Switzerland.
--dB
Alzheimer's is my biggest fear, especially seeing the effects it has on my mom . I so can relate to you Jason. I too associate my memories to music.
Thanks for all your comments, everyone. I'm not sure how many of you read my reply comments, but here goes. I wish I could respond to all of you, but I simply don't have the time. I will do my best:
@Gagaa and Anon: I agree. Memories do sometimes come flooding back. I really enjoy it when that happens. I think that I get a chance to relive those past moments, and that makes me happy. Often, they are triggered by the strangest things. Also, where in Switzerland do you ski?
@Everyone: Many of you talked about how my blog can serve as a trigger for my memory. I never thought of it that way, and I'm glad you pointed that out.
@R.Burnett Baker: I agree with you when you say that identity is a product of experiences. I used the word function because I'm a math nerd, and I like the connotations it has. My friend and I once talked about the theory behind the identity function. We decided that it is not a one-to-one function, and of course, it is always changing. Also, the derivative of the function at any point in time would be the rate of change of your identity in that moment.
@FreeingJulius: You are so lucky that you can remember back to 2nd grade. I can only remember back to 10th grade. I recall some things from the time before that, but I can't put them in chronological order. 10th grade was when I went to Switzerland, and my life was forever altered after that. It is the benchmark date I use for everything.
Jason
the older you get the more you forget. and hey dont worry it happens. You forget an experience btw you may have nothing from your trip but the memories which will always last
take care and be safe
bob
Some have made the observation (perhaps unfair, but very close to the truth) that we are composed of our memories and experiences that came before. In that sense, forgetting is a way of losing little pieces of yourself .
This worry used to plague me as well. But you know what, memories and lives are not museums. We are living, evolving, changing beings. I am learning to enjoy what I have when I have it, and if I forget experiences, so be it...I've making new ones as I go. Some of the past just cannot be recovered, for me this is not so bad, and I look towards the future and the present.
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