I spent the past 3 days working super hard on fixing this college essay. My English teacher has been helping me, and I think I have spent a total of 6 hours on this essay. I sent my essay to one of my college counselors asking what she thought about it, and she called me an hour later.
She told me that the new essay is much worse compared to the old essay.
She said she doesn't like all the examples, which disturbed me because the point of editing was to add concrete examples/evidence. She disliked one example in particular, which happened to be an example my English teacher loved.
She said she doesn't understand the organization, which also concerned me because I worked really hard on the organization.
Finally, she said that I can't write, so I shouldn't try too hard with quality writing.
In my crisis, I emailed my other college counselor asking him for an opinion, and I have just emailed my best friend asking for her opinion on which essay is best. I will ask my mom for her opinion when she gets back from her trip.
If there are any college counselors reading this post, please contact me because I would love it if you could read my essay.
I realize there is a difference between an English essay and a College essay, but I had no idea that the difference would be this serious.
11 comments:
Well that sucks dude. Especially after all the hard work you put into it.
I think you are onto a winner with asking for a second opinion.
Chin up mate...
Octavius.
Ok... This sounds serious. You are right College Essays are way different.
IMPORTANT NOTE: College Essays should sell yourself to the department that you are applying to and should be a stand-alone demonstration of why you should be chosen to a 4-year-program compared to your counter part who is qualified in every way as you are.
I have seen Profs. reading the first paragraph of the essay and setting them aside for rejection. So the first paragraph is crucial especially if you are applying for YALE.
In reading the first page the person reviewing your application should understand "Why are you applying? What in your high school background has equipped you for the particular program in that school?"
Style: I classify any essay that comes to my table into "Fact Essays" v. "Narrative Essays". Both styles of writing are excellent. However, the selection team always gave high-scores for "Narrative Essays" when it comes to choosing two applicants with the same set of qualifications.
I can keep rambling. But I think by now you would have got the picture.
Good Luck and Wish you the very best in your application process. Let me know if you need help.
P.S: I know it's rough during this time of the year. Just hang in there, it should be over before you know it.
Joe Jordan, could I send you a copy of the two essays and ask for your opinion on which is better? Neither is finished, but it would be nice to hear an opinion on which to pursue.
Wow, those comments from the first counselor must have been hard to take. Keep in mind, though, that everyone's opinion will be different; in terms of critiquing, essays tend to be subjective in nature (especially the kind you write for college admissions). And just as there are no universally-liked movies, books, or songs, there are no universally-liked essays. Also, there are some very bad college counselors out there. :(
Even if you don't have any college counselors reading your post, you do have a ton of resources among your fellow bloggers. We may not be professional writers, but many of us are in 4-yr. programs or grad school and have gotten where we are by the strength of our writing skills. I, for example, won quite a few regional and even a national essay contest when I was in high school.
If you're unhappy with your essay after the advice from the second counselor, your mom, and your best friend, I'd be happy to look it over and offer suggestions. You can email me at mrgagaablog@gmail.com. You may want to comment on my blog to let me know you've sent me something because I don't check that email as much as my others.
Good luck.
Jason, sorry to hear that... Maybe your college counselor was having a bad day :/
Jason, Please feel free to send them. I will work on it and send it to you the next day.
or you could post them up here...I don't think they're going to look for plagiarism for a college essay...but I guess they will.
But the first counselor sounds like a complete douche unless you did turn in a crap essay which I don't think you did judging from the way you write here.
Like said above, narrative and "eye-catching" is better I think. They're alot more interesting to read than "well one time I was this guy...
Oops!!! Didn´t you know that? Propz Pilgrim
Wow, that college counselor sounded mean. :-/
Honestly, yes, college essays make a huge deal. But they're not everything. Extracurricular activities and really good letters of recommendation also play a significant role.
If you want, I'd be more than happy to take a look (I'm also mortally curious as to what other people write). I remember editing many of my friends' essays back in high school for undergrad, and then again for med school (okay, it was just 1-2 friends for med school, but still).
Good Luck! I hope everything works out for the best!
Thanks for all your kind words, everyone.
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