Stereotypes: Shelter or Shackles? (Day 4)

Can the gay stereotypes serve as a shelter, or do they constrain members of the gay community?

Of course, the answer to this may not be as clear cut as we desire. There will naturally be gray areas, but I will leave most of that to the discussion in the comments. Here, I will write arguments for both sides. I will write as best I can in order to prevent a fair argument for both sides.

Of course, if you feel I misrepresented one of the arguments, please say so in the comments and give a better argument so that I may update my post. I could find no internet resources for this debate, so I had to come up with the arguments myself.

1) The stereotypes serve as a shelter by providing a unique realm that gay men can inhabit.
When a young man (or older one) comes out of the closet, he is suddenly able to act the way he always desired to act. He no longer has to worry about the stereotypes. As a closeted teenager, I can't possibly explain to you how comforting this sounds.

When I come out, I will no longer have to hide any parts of me that matched the gay stereotypes. I will no longer have to worry about someone getting a hold of my iPod and seeing what I listened to. I won't have to worry about saying things that might sound a little gay. I will be able to style my hair however I damn please.

These are just some of the things that I can do without fear of being outed. Some people might think that I won't embrace these aspects of myself because it will mark me as gay. However, when I come out, I won't care about whether or not people know I'm gay.

If people say, “wow, that music is a little gay,” I will be able to respond, “That's because I am.” I know it sounds trifle, but I can't wait for the day when I can do that.

The stereotypes also provide gays with unique attributes that they can embrace if they so choose, as I may choose to do with certain stereotypes when I finally come out. In this regard, the stereotypes can be an almost uplifting part of coming out. Finally being able to embrace them will be a great moment for me.

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2) While finally being allowed to fit some stereotypes will be a happy moment, the other stereotypes, which the gay man does not fit nor want to fit, will be attached to him.

Upon coming out, the gay man will be viewed and judged by his peers based on the stereotypes. While some of the stereotypes are positive (e.g: gay men are clean, gay men value education), a great many number are negative and hurtful (e.g: gay men are pedophiles, cannot maintain a long-term relationship, will die of AIDS) and the gay person just out of the closet will be shackled down with these.

I earlier mentioned how I may never come out at my workplace where I work as a swim teacher because I am concerned how people will perceive it. Molestation is a major concern at my workplace, and they even made us watch training videos on how to spot sexual predators and pedophiles. The stereotype that gay men have the hots for 9 year-old boys could be potentially troublesome for my employment, and it could cause major issues with the parents.

In this way, the stereotypes limit someone's ability or desire to come out. They actively keep the closet door shut. They do not uplift, but force people down. The stereotypes will continue to plague the gay man throughout his life. They will always be there and will always make it harder to meet new people, find a job, etc. A recent poll found that 51% of Americans believed homosexuality was an unacceptable lifestyle, and the stereotypes play a major role in purporting this belief.

So, those are the arguments I came up with. They are narrow in scope, seeing as they focus around coming out, but this is a blog from the point of view of a closeted teenager, so what more can you expect? I'm not sure I made the best possible argument for number 1, and I think I may have missed the point, so please leave a comment giving a more persuasive argument.

I do not know what interpretation to put most stock in right now. I feel strongly about both arguments, but I think that if I had to choose, I would go with argument 2. My arguments for both come from the heart, so it was a tough choice to make. Once again, there is considerable gray area and complexity to this issue, so a clear answer is unlikely.

Nevertheless, I want to hear your thoughts on this issue. Do you have any additional arguments for either side (or a mixture of both)? Where do your beliefs fall on this scale?