Coming Out to Friends (Maybe)

I want to use this post to respond to the points made in the comments on my New Coming Out Issues.

Some of you suggested waiting until college. This was actually my plan for a long time. However, as time goes on, I am getting more and more restless. I am growing tired of the closet. I can't wait for the day when I can be myself around my friends, so I can't wait for college.

Others suggested telling parents first. In fact, this idea got broad support from my readers. This is an interesting point, as it means I don't have to worry if everyone at school finds out, but I just don't think I can. I think telling my best friends will be much less awkward.

Steevo, who writes http://steevo2.blogspot.com/, chatted with me on msn last night and was helping me a lot with coming out. We talked about my family situation and whether or not it is a good situation to come out into. I will share with you all what I told him.

Mom: She may suspect that I am gay. She never says anything derogatory about gays (around me). She voted No on Prop 8, and she knows how I feel about gay rights, and she agrees. She and I are pretty close. We often talk in the late evenings for several hours. We don't really talk about our feelings, though. We talk about how our day was and we often talk about politics. So, we have a pretty good relationship.

Dad: He is often traveling and works a lot, so I don't talk to him that often, but he sometimes joins my mom and I in the kitchen during our late night chats. He also voted No on 8, which is good. I think he is accepting of gays, but I think he may be a bit bothered when he learns he has a gay son.

Twin Brother: We are fraternal twins, for those of you who are wondering. He is my polar opposite. We don't really get along, but we can talk and joke with each other. Fortunately, he is very pro-gay rights.

Little Brother: Age 9. We get along very well, but he is very independent because he is so much younger than I. I am only a bit concerned that people will ridicule him at school when they learn that he has a gay older brother. He is only in 4th grade now, but I could see this being an issue in 6th grade. We go to the same school (it's K-12).

Parents' Friends: My parents have been in the same close-knit friend group for about 10 years now. These friends are very conservative, and I don't think they are accepting of gays. Coming out may cause some strain in the friendship, but I think they will get over it. Unfortunately, my parents are also good friends with the head honcho at my work, so coming out could lead to work finding out. On the good side, I am not planning on going back next year, and there is only one week left.

So, the situation is rather good for coming out at home. However, I am still concerned about the awkwardness of it. It is just a supremely uncomfortable situation. The good news is that I am no longer scared about coming out. Thanks, Steve!

Nevertheless, I still want to come out to my friends. I think they might have some good advice for how to best tell my parents. They will finally understand the awkwardness of coming out and can give me advice on how to relieve the tension.

Also, I have dreams about being able to be myself in front of my friends, not in front of my family. I always planned on coming out to my closest friends by the end of summer, so my deadline is running short. I feel like I should just go out and do it this weekend.