My best friend applied Early Decision to Brown University. She was also being recruited as a water polo player by the coach. She got a 2290 on her SAT and has a near perfect GPA. She also is the Debate Captain, participates in community service, and she is the Water Polo Captain. She has been playing for 7 years, and the coach loved her and really wanted her on the team.
Despite this seemingly perfect application, she got deferred. This devastated her and my group of friends. Furthermore, she is the one person I most expected to get into college. An athlete with a 2290 and a PERFECT SCORE on Math. That sounds great, right? WRONG.
Basically, I see things like this: The college admissions process is clearly not a science, and great people slip through the cracks for unknown reasons. I have lost all faith in the college admissions process, and I have also given up hope on acceptance to Yale. Yale is significantly more selective than Brown, and I'm not an athlete or anything.
However, I can take solace in the fact that the admissions process is not a reflection on myself. I do not identify with where I get accepted/rejected. Getting into college is something that someone else evaluates, and identity is a self-evaluation. If I get deferred or denied, so be it. I believe that the admissions officer was wrong, but too bad for them because they are missing out on a great candidate. I can be just as successful anywhere.
::End Arrogant Rant::
16 comments:
I have mixed emotions about your blog. While I understand that it is your blog, and that it is your life, and the same time it seems a little blah. You sit and complain about some of the most ridiculous stuff. Like whos getting in tho which Ivy league school and you're upset cause you haven't got your acceptance letter yet.
The world you live in is obviously seen through rose glasses, cause it seems the worst that could happen to you is getting into Brown and not Yale.
You live in a very sheltered and privileged world. Not everyone can go write about being gay in their English class. Or be worried that the whole school is going to find out. (You only go to school with a couple hundred kids, it was bound to happen)
While I admire you for being one of the strong who can come out, at the same time, there is a much bigger world besides private school, and getting everything you want, and your only problem is being gay. And thats not even a problem.
Going to school is going to be a wakeup call for you. Moving across the country and seeing new experiences. And while an Ivy league school may not be the biggest wakeup call, I guess it will be a start.
Sorry to rant, its just my opinion from a current college student.
Being deferred to the regular decision pool at an Ivy, or one of the other top universities, is not something to get so worked up over. Deferral means the admissions committee viewed your application as very competitive and that they simply want to review it again through the perspective of the regular admissions pool. There is also a great deal of emphasis put on essays and exceptional passion in the extra-curricular arena, so unless you are a superstar, it isn't that likely for you to get in early, and you shouldn't view a deferral from this round negatively. Stanford, as your friends have seen, is somewhat of an exception, as they typically admit more exceptionally well-rounded people that other top schools may feel are not "unique" enough to get in early. I also wouldn't say admissions is something to lose all faith in. They admit the clearly exceptional students early and then they have to choose a certain number of the rest of the amazing applicants. Naturally,some people who are more than qualified have to be cut and sometimes the reasons for this are very subjective, but how can they not be. Is it better to choose the essay that you preferred or the kid who scored 10 points higher on the SAT (all else being equal)? An admissions counselor has a reason for admitting every applicant they choose/it isn't just names coming out of a hat. And even if you do eventually get wait listed("the nice denial"), like I did, there are plenty of other amazing schools. I ended up with a full-ride to Georgia Tech, which is ranked in the top three in my field, and I'm enjoying it! Attending Tech actually meant I started school with a group of 66 friends, amazing other freshman in my scholarship program (many who actually turned down the likes of Harvard, MIT, Stanford, etc...). To me, the week we spent bonding and forming what will likely be life-long friendships on our retreat was immensely more valuable than a yes letter from an Ivy. There is something to be gained at any school! By the way, the south, or at least Atlanta, is not so bad for gay guys! I had similar feelings as you last year, but I think we eventually come to realize that when we say that we feel admissions was wrong in deferring, wait listing, or denying us that we are being a little pretentious. I am not so certain that my application, although exceptional, was any more exceptional than that of many others, and I think this is the case for the vast majority of Ivy applicants, including many who get admitted. Like you said, we will be successful anywhere. Surely we don't stop being great scholars and great people simply because we attend a slightly lesser ranked institution. In any event, at least wait until you get a decision (next few days?) before you decide that admissions is just a crap shoot.
"The college admissions process is clearly not a science . . ."
No, it's not a science, it's an art. I believe the truth of the matter is that college admissions (whether it be for undergrad, grad, professional school) is just getting tougher. You may not know it (or maybe appreciate it), but you're competing against people of very similar caliber as you or even higher than you.
How many people out there have SAT scores of 2300+ with SAT II's in tow? Who are president of this club and that? Who have made a difference in the community? Who come from a disadvantaged background but made it? Who have traveled the world and back with stories that captivate the admissions committee?
By all means you are a great candidate, I don't think that's in question. But there are so many others just as worthy. How do you choose? At some point, it becomes nigh-arbitrary (imo). I remember it being tough when I applied but I also knew, good as I was as a student, where my limits were. No, it doesn't reflect you as a candidate, but rather reflects on the reality of the situation - more (and better) people are deciding to go to college.
Very few people apply to Ivies and just expect to get accepted - if you do, it'll likely be a shot to your arrogance. Let the competition begin . . .
And by all means, "I can be just as successful anywhere" is the real truth.
Closet frat case calling Jason Carwin shallow?
Ha! He is in a school his parents sent him to. So, what, he should feel guilty? He came out to his whole school? How many people are you out to now... and senior year of high school? If you had read his blog more than recently you would see that he did have a tough time dealing with what was happening. He has a group of close friends he came out to. How many of your frat bros know you are gay? Honest(!) and loyal to the brothers, right?
Why do you need to judge and diss? So he cares a lot about what school he gets into. Did you?
Of course you have an equal right to put whatever you want on your blog. As does Jason.
"Privilege" is relative. BOTH of you have many privileges. Ask one home-schooled 14 yo blogger here who lives with a chronically unemployed abusive so-called stepfather and an ubber religious bible-crazed faggot-hating mother. He could perhaps mention privilege. But just as well might first notice Jason's struggle and be impressed and encouraged. I wonder what that gay 14 yo kid gets out of your blog listing one hookup after another and sneaking around to keep his secret? Who is the better example? Nasty question, yes. But... see my point?
Now I am sounding like you. Sorry. Jason is 17 FFS and making a huge transition. Coming out to dad has little to do with his stock portfolio or last quarter's bonus. Jason is showing a lot of integrity and honesty. For that I laud him. Privilege is indeed relative, as is empathy for friends and fellow bloggers.
I am well past college and could easily point out from MY "elder" perspective how much YOU still have to learn and experience in the real world of work/career and relationships/hookups.
But I don't want to judge either of you. You are who you are and you are where you are on your "path". I will read the angst ridden posts, perhaps smile a bit at the ironies and consistencies of gay life and wish you both well. Really.
What do others here think? Maybe I am full of crap. Would not be the 1st time and definitely won't be the last. And besides, Jason is damn cute! That never hurts! Haha.
Johnny
Gosh Jason - all life is here on your blog!
Johnny said it really well.
Jason, I come here looking for you to talk openly about your experiences and your hopes and aspirations. I respect you for the fact that you do so honestly, without the pretence that S.Coronado encourages by being judgemental.
Well this is indeed the hot spot to deal and wheel. I fear that my comment will simply be lost into the multitudes of good content here, but alas, here it goes anyways...
By all respects I am a so called "failure" in life when compared to most IVY league students/graduates... I have no diploma, I have no wonderful job, I am not, nor will I ever be, wealthy and I have not even gone to college yet. And when I do I will not be going to anything nice or extravagant. I will go to community college and maybe a four year university later.
I must say that when I read about your experiences and the way you refer to the things in your life I do get a sense of a "high society", "fed with a silver spoon" kind of life. But I do not for one second think it has necessarily been enjoyable or easy for you.
You read as if you work very hard for your success. You put forth a lot of study and effort and for that you deserve the successes you attain.
I on the other hand have a ton of close friends, I do photography and I enjoy my life. I had an amazingly easy time coming out and suffered almost zero hatred for it and almost 100% of the people in my life know.
So even though I will never know the experiences that you have know, you will never know mine. And all I hope for is that you remain true to who you have shown yourself to be and that I remain as I have myself.
And that we can both live happily.
Thank you for all your posts, I love you blog and have now talked way too much....
Lots of love,
Ryan
Oh yeah! I almost forgot to wish you GOOD LUCK! in your applications. It is almost like a small victory for all of us when you get accepted to where you want! KEEP THE HOPE-O-METER UP MAN!!!!
Lots of love,
Ryan
You're just venting because its the only way to relieve the tension right now. All of us have been there and done that, and know that no one relaxed until the summer after senior year. There's nothing we can say that will offer any comfort, so rant as much as you like.
I suspect it doesn't help that you are going to fancy restaurants with the kids that are already in. That should make you feel like a second class citizen. I wouldn't care to go through the experience.
Everyone has his own style. My parents paid all the bills for my education but never seemed to have time to celebrate when the milestones of graduation came around. I hoped they would stay after my graduation from law school to have a good meal in a first class restaurant. Their celebration was heating some canned soup in the kitchen of my apartment so they could get back to the city as soon as possible. I didn't partake. I could never hold it against them because when the chips were down they always had my back. Sounds like your folks do too.
I will say only one thing..., it's not arrogant, if it's true.
Good Luck for your applications.
Courage and Honour!
Octavius.
good luckk! you'll go far in life no matter where you end up :)
As johnny left a comment mentioning a 14 yo boy's blog which would be mine and i wanna clear up a few things he mentioned bout my life i am now 15 as of dec7 (yay) and the guy he called my step- father sure as hell aint related 2 me he's just my mom's bf and and my mom aint rlly a religous person at all she just a physco who yells at me all the time and always expects the worse outta me and shows no love for me and every 1 around here acts so weirdly bout gays and my aunt and uncle are religeous people and i couldn't tell them what bothers me cause of me being gay and i cant risk anyone finding out im gay and my bro always makes jokes bout gays and acts very hatred towards them so more reason for me to be in the closest so just clearing it up so you can understand me a bit more for the actually truth and nothing exagerated lols and mom's bf has abused me physcially 3-4 times in 2yrs
Ah yes, college acceptance and reject letters can be totally mind boggling. There's always lots of disappointments, but it isn't everything!
Jeesh, Anonymous...stay tough, because for several years more you'll need to be. I know nothing about your situation except for what you have just told me, but it has got to be a total drain on your whole desire to continue living and all that that entails. Find a rock, man, if you haven't found it already, because it sounds like you're getting awfully tired of it all and that tiredness can lead to decisions that can be outright dangerous for you. I can not think of a greater tragedy than for you to give up and check out! You MUST NOT GIVE UP YOUR HOPE! YOU MUST NEVER DO THAT! NEVER!!!
Holy jeez, S. Corando, lighten up!
Jason, you go right ahead and stress out about whatever the hell you want.
I get so tired of people judging others because they're not suffering/opressed/hard done by enough.
Just because you're smart, well-educated, had no major flack coming out, and economically stable...doesn't mean you're a bad person. Everyone has their own challenges and struggles, and no one has the right to invalidate those trials.
Post a Comment