So, I'm continuing the discussion on whether or not homosexuality is a choice. For me, I never really had a choice. I didn't really realize I was gay until I was a teenager, and after I realized that, I ignored it for a while ("It's just a phase," I told myself) and then at one point I actively tried to suppress those thoughts and force myself to be straight (that failed, please, do not try this. It will only make you unhappy).
Finally, I gave up and realized that I am gay. Looking back on my childhood, I think the signs were always there. For example, I remember thinking Aladdin was a total hottie (and I still think this!). The funny thing is that I never told anybody this. Somehow, I knew that this was not a good thing to be thinking, and I covered it up. Isn't it incredible how a young child is able to pick up on social taboo like that?
So, personally, I don't remember having a choice. The only thing I ever had a choice in was whether or not I should try to live a lie or if I should be true to myself, and frankly, that isn't much of a choice.
So, now I have to ask the question: Does it even matter? Who cares if it's a choice or not. Does choosing this lifestyle justify giving us fewer rights? I certainly hope not. Yet, it is one of the arguments heard in "the defense of marriage."
On December 9, 2008, Jon Stewart interviewed then presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee. In the second part of the interview, they discussed same-sex marriage. Below is a small snippet of their exchange:
Huckabee: But there's a big difference between a person being black and a person practicing a lifestyle and engaging in a marital relationship
[inaudible]
Stewart: This gets to the crux of it. I think it's the difference between what you believe gay people are and what I do. [insert joke here] Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality, and the protections that we have for religion...we protect religion, and talk about a lifestyle choice, that is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay.
Huckabee: But Jon, religious people don't have the right to burn others at the stake, they don't have the right to do anything they want.
The whole interview is very good, and I strongly encourage you all to watch it. A link will be at the bottom of this post.
Now, let's analyze what was just said. Huckabee first argued the point that homosexuals do not deserve the same protection as racial minorities do because ethnic minorities don't have a choice whereas gays can choose to practice that particular lifestyle. Of course, he does not say this explicitly, but it appears to be what he is implying. Stewart calls him out on it, and Huckabee does not deny that this was his argument, so we can safely assume that Huckabee honestly believes that because homosexuality is a choice, it does not protection under the law.
WTF?
Who cares if homosexuality is a choice? It simply shouldn't matter. I still exist and I still have fewer rights than the average American. The "It's a choice" argument is appalling and an incredible insult to humanity.
Fortunately, Jon Stewart comes up with a great counter argument to illustrate this point: Religion is more of a choice than sexuality, and we protect religious equality, so why can't we give homosexuals equality under the law?
Huckabee's replies that religion can't do anything it wants, so gays shouldn't be able to do anything they want. He claims that since religions can't "burn people at the stake," gays shouldn't be allowed to get married. Does anyone else see the stark difference between MURDER and MATRIMONY? Sure, they both start with 'M' but the similarities end there.
I suppose that Huckabee is arguing that same-sex marriage will have serious negative effects upon society. However, he fails to elaborate on these effects, and I have yet to see any. I remind you that several states have legalized same-sex marriage, and the state of California has tens of thousands of same-sex couples running around, and I have yet to see social breakdown.
The fact of the matter is that it shouldn't matter whether or not gays choose to be gay. All that matters is that they deserve the right to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness just like any other American.
5 comments:
I agree without you, it shouldn't matter whether we choose or not, but I personally think that it's not a choice, that you are just born like that. I just realized it when I was a teenager also, and looking back there was also signs. But I never thought Aladdin was hot, lol. Hopefully someday we will have the same rights as everyone else.
There is a clarification needed as to what you mean by "homosexuality."
If you mean the orientation — being more or less exclusively sexually attracted to members of the same sex — clearly it is not a choice (even though as your previous post indicates, there is more then genetics in play in causing it. But if you mean sexual activity with someone of the same sex, clearly it is a choice. What that means for society and its laws is a further question. But just as heterosexually oriented people are physically and mentally free to choose whether they will engage in sexual activity (but the law limits their freedom) so homosexually oriented people have the physical and mental freedom to choose whether to engage in sexual activity ( but the law may limit that freedom).
BTW, if there are negative effects on society from legal same-sex marriage, it would take a generation or two for them to be evident.
I like your blog so far. I'll be following and linking it to mine.
Thank you for the comment. You make a very insightful point. Yes, it is up to the individual to choose whether or not to act on those desires. I think that when people come out of the closet, it is implied that they will be acting on those desires. As I said, coming out is a choice, just as choosing a sexual partner is.
Thanks for the link.
I agree, I do not think it's a choice.
I realized when I was in the 12/13 range. I always looked at the boys in middle school, never the girls :P
Haha there really were signs in my childhood too. Looking back, I'm simply amazed that my mother did not guess about my orientation beforehand.
Jason..just found your blog. Like it..thinks I'll come back often.
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