Sunday, May 31, 2009

I was awoken at 6AM by a text from Sally, who is my best friend. She flew out to visit me, and it was the first time I had seen her since December 20, 2007. Now I can know that the last time I saw her was May 31, 2009. Wow, it has been so long. Fortunately, I have been able to keep in touch with her. We chat at least once a week, and sometimes more often. She is pretty much the only friend from program that I keep in constant contact with, and it makes me sad. At least I still have her.

Anyways, she arrived around 9:30, and then I drove out to meet her at USC. We drove to Santa Monica, got lost for about 30 minutes, and then finally got a parking spot and went shopping. I have no fashion sense, so I asked her to pick stuff out for me, but she was unable to do that. I don't really like the preppy look. Personally, I think it looks a little too 'east coast.' I kind of want to go for a more beachy look.

We walked around, had lunch, walked around more, had dinner, and then she drove back to her hotel. In the end, we only hung out for like 4 hours, but they were a great 4 hours. I miss her so much, and I almost cried on the drive home. It is so hard having a friend that lives far away and you are unable to see.

So, I wanted to come out to her during this day. I still haven’t told anyone about this, but I want her to be the first one to know. The thing is that the time was never right. Her mom was with us the whole time except when we went into stores, but I don't think coming out to someone in a clothing store with music blaring is the best way.

Now I have to come out to her over the phone. I guess it won’t be so bad, but it’s just not the same. I think I should come out to her before I leave for my backpacking trip. I have a feeling that I might tell another friend during the trip, so I want Sally to know before I leave.

I think I will call her on Saturday, which happens to be Prom. Imagine that, coming out on the night of Prom. I feel like it’s a day I will never forget.

What's crazy is that leading up to this Sunday, I was all mentally prepared to come out, but now I've lost my courage and I am scared again.