June 2, 2009: Crisis

Oh, I had a minor crisis today. So, for my English/History project, we had to write a personal response. I wrote about how I value civil liberties over social unity/collective tendencies. I wrote about different issues, and then I ended up on the issue of same-sex marriage. While I was discussing this, I accidentally wrote the phrase, “we gays ….” Just before turning it in, my friend spotted it. This was highly embarrassing for me, but I’m not sure if she thought too much about it. Anyways, I had to black it out and just replace it with homosexuals or something like that. I was freaking out on the inside for a while.

Oh, and this is the best part: While I was freaking out about this, a group was giving a presentation of gay rights. Now keep in mind, there are NO openly gay people in my school. Isn’t that odd? I mean, everyone has their suspicions about certain people, but nobody is completely out.

So, this presentation was really good, even though it was unfinished. I love how it dealt with the issues surrounding policies relating to LGBT people and the personal issues that LGBT people face. My best friend, Kathleen, wrote a poem for it, and it was really powerful. However, it was also frightening. The purpose was to show how gay people suffer, and as you can imagine, this had a profound effect on myself. I felt like I was about to step into this deep hole of agony. I imagine it looks something the picture on this post.

During the presentation, I had that feeling in my stomach. I can’t describe it, but I think it is a mixture of fear and anxiety. It is so strange, and I don’t like it. Of course, that feeling may have come from the discovery of my “typo.”